Reinventing Joy

A coaching colleague of mine just called me out yesterday! I was filling her in on what was going on in the last few months.  I shared that I worked myself into the energy point of no return.  I was burning out.   She quickly pointed out that at the same time last year, I was telling her a similar story about how I hustled so hard I needed to take a break.  She highlighted that it appears that August is the season for slowing down.  But I shouldn't be working so hard until I'm at the brink of burn out AGAIN.   Oops! I did it again.  I got lost in the game.     What's interesting is that we focus on bad habits like smoking, over eating, negative self talk but I think we forget that how we work can also be a habit that needs close attention.   My name is Joyel Crawford and I'm a workaholic. I hustle until I can't flow no mo.   Building your own business is not easy or cheap.  I learned that for 18 yea...

Andy Rooney Style Rant starts...now... I've never planned a wedding before.  And I'm growing frustrated daily by reading these blogs from other brides to be who know SO much about these planning details.  It's as if they went to school and got a Masters in Matrimony.   No one who's never been married can claim to know everything! Seriously!  We all have ideas and pin the hell out of what we'd like on our big day on Pinterest but unless you've been there before or are a professional wedding planner- seriously- stop acting like a know it all!  End Rant.  Petty Party over. Trying to build my coaching and speaking business and plan this small wedding has been a super challenge.   As you all know, I worry about everything.  Things are going quite well with things so far.  Got the caterer, invites, location, photographer, last dress fitting is coming up in two weeks. I joked with my fiancé this morning that once t...

It's March 6th and I'm JUST getting to blog!  I have been so busy building my business and gaining new coaching clients that I've managed to shirk most of the things that bring me joy.  Some would say growing your business is a great problem to have.  I would agree to a certain point.  I would say that I have been so focused on building my business, planning a wedding and trying to save the world- that the work stress monkey is on my back once again and I'm starting to experience some good old fashioned self induced stress symptoms.  YAS!  They're baccck! Since I'm hip to the fact that this is not how I want to live my dream job, I took a step back and started to question what the heck was going on.  Where was this stress coming from and what was the root cause? I realized like in my old job...I was owning projected stress and expectations that others were placing on my already high list of expectations.  I know it's an important gig! ...

For years I would struggle and go to work sick and contagious because I needed to get the work done.  My team needed me.  The business needed me.  They can't function without me.  What I didn't realize is that when I'm not at my best, I can't be my best. Yeah, I got the work done or the webinar completed or the folks trained but they didn't get 100% Joyel, they got 50-65% at best.  That's no bueno.  Showing up while sick doesn't make you a hero.  It fosters a lack of self care which (as I slowly learned) can lead to other deeper issues along the way.  I developed larger health issues along the years that accumulated into some pretty scary stuff.  It was my body's way of signaling me to slow the hell down!  But I didn't listen until I was 4 meds in, 2 fibroid removal surgeries down and had a stress related cough that gave me a hernia to realize that working while ill is not the answer to a more productive life. I'm writing this note t...

This whole week so far has been about Embracing Change.   Monday kicked off with my EAP Embracing Change class in Wilmington, DE where over 50 employees at a bank listened to their peers and I discuss ways to go with the flow and embrace the changes that happen to us in life.  As I shared with the class, it's not the change that does us in- it's the transition and life and our businesses won't wait too long for us to get it together.   We also discussed honoring the process and being proactive.  One wise participant discussed not giving up on the change just because we don't see immediate results.  We need to keep trying if we believe in that change and measure and celebrate the small successes on the way.  We also took away that it's ok to question the change but we need to remember to be mindful of how we're asking about the change and reframing the question to show that our intention is not to tear it down but to better understand the change. ...

I did it!  I got my name up in lights on a marquee after 1 year of working very hard to be heard in the Philly music scene!   Last year at the Dewey Beach Music Conference, I set the intention to the owner that I would see her next year and that I'd be performing.   I remember her saying to me "OK."(and the tone was "Who is this chick?!")  But one year later, I saw folks noticing my name on the sign while I was waiting to perform my original songs to a packed house at Jimmy's Grille in Dewey Beach, DE. I know it wasn't SXSW or the Grammy's yet but I had arrived in my own personal achievement.  This was a challenge that I took on and did it out of pocket and sheer grit and determination.   Manifestation works when you put yourself to work.   I didn't just wish on a star and hope to get selected.   I took to getting out to the local music venues, networked my tail off, played out and practiced all year long.  2 weeks before I was ...

I have been pushing myself into new experiences, or challenges that scare me to get past my fears.  I love to perform. But performing on an instrument that I'm not very good at alone has been struggle for me. I realize that I can only get better with practice.  This 7 week Mindfulness and Stress Reduction class that I completed really works! My health has never been better and my blood pressure is the best it's ever been.  I had to talk myself off the fence of fear 10 times yesterday to get the courage up to go and play at an open mic night at this really awesome music venue (World Cafe Live).  I was invited by the host (a huge step) and then it was the venue- A place where some of my most favorite artists performed.  And then it was playing my original music, without the safety net of my fiancé backing me up. My stomach was churning, I started to get a migraine, my muscles were spasming.  All the signs of anxiety that I used ...

I think I may be dreaming but I believe the sun has finally decided to show it's beautiful sunny face today!   I don't know about you, but not seeing the sun in almost 2 weeks had a profound effect on my mood.   There were a lot of things to celebrate- like me getting hired to be an expert career coach with The Muse, or my awesome radio interview with NGFY Radio or my kicking some serious butt during the Workweek Fitbit challenges with my friends.   All were hollow victories.  The sun was gone.  I was feeling funky and low.  I was trying to pin point why I was feeling this way but rather than fight it.  I just felt into it.   Everything isn't sunshine and peppermints when you're following your dreams.  I needed to take a break and just be.  These weeks of no sunshine- made me very introspective and cavey. (Cavey- It's my word for feeling like a hermit and not wanting to go out and commune with the ...

Fear...it can be such an debilitating emotion!   I was walking through the park yesterday and turned around to see three teenagers screaming and huddled together.  I thought they were just being kids and being loud.  The screening continued and when I changed positions, I discovered a yellow lab on a leash with his owner sitting and smiling at them.   The dog was not in moving in any aggressive manner.  In fact it was just calmly sitting there amidst the yelps and hollers from the teens.  I recalled being that terrified of dogs when I was younger too.  But it was most often when the dog approached me in an aggressive manner.  My fight or flight would kick in but I would still continue to walk as briskly as I could away from any danger. In this situation, the dog was sitting and actually trying to say hello.  The more the teens screeched the more the dog tried to approach them to sniff them. ...

There's no excuse!  Just none! I was burned out! And I haven't been over here in a minute! So much has happened.  I wrote a new song, I went to AZ for my birthday, I had a house concert and booked another one that will be happening this Friday, I performed at The Fire again, I got a corporate HR Consulting client for a month- (only 1 month due to lack of funds and not for lack of talent), I got a few new one on one clients, I went to see Chaka Khan, Tedeschi Trucks Band and Earth Wind and Fire and Chicago, I played at an open Mic, I participated in a Philadelphia Music Scene Portrait project, I have an opportunity to be a freelance coach with a really reputable website for career development, I've helped friends get through some really tough stuff, I've taken on new coaching challenges, I started Whole 30, I miss wine, bread, cheese and wine really badly, I got my tax return money and oh yeah, I GOT ENGAGED! So much has happened and I neglected to tell you.  Why a...

It's February and the first month of the New Year was a doozy. Emotional roller coaster would be a good description.  I returned from a wonderful complimentary trip to Melbourne, Australia for New Years and kicked off the year practicing my tail off for the numerous gigs I had booked.  I had a Dinner Detective gig that was a last minute add, a house concert and an invite to play at The Fire again on 2/2!  I had an audition to play a chemo patient for a hospital. In addition to that I managed to get an invite to audition for Book of Mormon again and a talent agency responded to my email with an invite to see me!!! It was a magical month! Busy bee!  Now, I don't know if I'll ever get into Book of Mormon because I'm 40 and fluffier than most of the younger auditioners. But I know I slayed the audition because she and the accompanist seemed to loved all of my work. But hey, it was a 2nd chance to be seen.  As for the chemo patient audition, I wasn't sure I got that ...

I have the flu!  In fact, I've had the flu since last week right before Thanksgiving.  I haven't been sick since April.  That's a world record in my book of illness. And I can't really count April as being sick since it was really a chronic cough due to stress, which caused a hernia and resulted an additional antidepressant I needed to take.   So, here it is, I am sick.  Ironically, I stopped my COBRA (because it was super expensive) and applied for medicaid.  I am still waiting for my medicaid card to show up in the mail (which is mysteriously NOT being delivered at the busiest time of the year).  I am using self serve options.  Good old hydration and rest. The hydration part -I've got down pat.  The rest part.  I suck at it.  I totally suck at resting.  I have a feeling that if they could give an award to the least rested person...it would be me! I have this intense drive to DO something at all times.  A ...

Being a selectively free agent in the work world has exposed me to the disgusting underbelly of greed and just plain old weasel-snake behavior! (Yes, that is a term I made up in 90s, ask my best friend Cindy Van Wert!) My dad always told me that if it's too good to be true, it probably is.   I have seen so many get rich quick, no experience necessary, gig booking "help", auditioning tips, how to source clients and work from home gimmicks that my eyes are crossing and my blood pressure is definitely at it's worse. I consider myself a fairly reasonable and smart person.  However, these folks have gotten good to hide their internet trickery.  These guys are posting their bogus opportunities on valid job search engines, websites and using catch phrases that grab your attention.   It will take some time.  And if they ask for money up front, professionals have never heard of them, or if their website looks low budget and jenky- head for the ...

It's really ok to sleep in.  You're not lazy or uninspired.  You worked for almost half your life, take a break and rest.  It's all good. Exercise.  Since you're not working and walking around the office or sitting on your butt working at a desk...you have to move or you will begin to experience some less than pleasant weight gain which may make you more depressed. It may be good to list out all of the things you wanted to do when you were working that you now have the freedom to do versus walking around your apartment in circles asking yourself "Now what do I do?" Netflix is your friend and mortal enemy.  Binge watching can be very cathartic.  Binge watching for more than a few hours a day can be very non productive.  See #2. Ask for help.  There are people out there who have actually experienced being unemployed.  It helps to ask for help so you don't feel so lost.   I have the awesome benefit of having a few mentors and life coa...