No Rest for the Weary

I have the flu!  In fact, I've had the flu since last week right before Thanksgiving.  I haven't been sick since April.  That's a world record in my book of illness. And I can't really count April as being sick since it was really a chronic cough due to stress, which caused a hernia and resulted an additional antidepressant I needed to take.  

So, here it is, I am sick.  Ironically, I stopped my COBRA (because it was super expensive) and applied for medicaid.  I am still waiting for my medicaid card to show up in the mail (which is mysteriously NOT being delivered at the busiest time of the year).  I am using self serve options.  Good old hydration and rest.

The hydration part -I've got down pat.  The rest part.  I suck at it.  I totally suck at resting.  I have a feeling that if they could give an award to the least rested person...it would be me!

I have this intense drive to DO something at all times.  A wise friend of mine says I need to be a "human being instead of a human doing."  I love the concept but even as I sweat it out and stayed in bed, I was bored.  So one day I walked to the store and made a quiche.  It was good.  I was also exhausted and set myself back a day in recovery. 

An old friend of mine had a practice where she would disconnect on Sundays.  She would turn off all devices and read and do other things, like interact with family and friends.  What a novel idea!  She challenged me to try it out.  I tried it for an hour and wanted to jump out of my skin.  LOL!  

I think I'm going to reinstitute disconnecting.  Every day this week as I tried (not really tried, attempted is a better word) to rest, I resorted to Facebook, twitter, my email, tv- Netflix binge watching hoping to fall asleep.  Taking a shower seemed to really calm me down but is it really realistic to take showers all day?  

I have an audition today at 2:40pm.  I'm not rested.  I coughed my head off all night.  Am I going to be ready?! I have awful flashbacks of this terrible audition I had several weeks ago. The director was not the softest ball of cotton in the box.  Let me paint a clear picture...the dude was straight up rude and disrespectful.  I never experienced something like that before.  I didn't want to work with someone like that and I walked out.  First time in my lifetime, I just walked out.  I didn't like the way I was feeling, how I was being treated and chose to leave.  

I plan to stay for today's entire audition. I expect that these folks will be more professional.  That last audition was a fluke. My other auditions here have been fine.  Today's audition is for several new musicals that will be showcased for a festival in January.  I think things are coming around.  

OH!  And I booked my 1st house gig for 2016 in mid January AND I was booked for my 1st paying gig at one of the top music venues here in Philly for 12/15!     

Today, now that I feel somewhat human (exhausted), I mentally prepare to go to this audition and nail the song.  Please dear Lord, make my voice work today!  My goal after this audition today and to come home, turn off my phone, and friggin take a nap.  For real!  No Netflix binge watching.  No checking Facebook a thousand times to see what's new in my friends' lives.  Newsflash- it's probably the same as it was since the last 5 minutes I checked my feed. 

Later this week, I am traveling back to Charleston to attend my friend's wedding.  I can't wait to see her get married.  She's a fun and smart gal and she's going for her dreams - which is something I really love celebrating with my friends.  

I CAN NOT be sick while I'm in Charleston or for my gig coming up.  I have too many things to do and people to see.  So I need to see this rest thing as a good thing to help me get ready for a fun filled week.  

I guess I need to see resting like my job for now.    Maybe that's what I need to see as part of my daily thing?  Finding my Rest sound.