Reinventing Joy

I lost another 0.6 pounds this week. It was tough! I wanted to eat the world. I am ready for the weekend and a little more rest.

I don't know why I do it! I do it every weekend and sometimes on the weekdays. I manage to Wallow in Self Loathing and punishment by watching sappy romantic Hallmark or Lifetime movie Originals about the sassy single lady who is buzzing through life and is trying to have it all and is plauged with being single. I enter into a surreal and often spot on portrayal of some of my own romantic failings only to see the TV "me" win the dashing handsome dude in the end. Her successful capture is sealed with a long embrace or kiss. Watching these televised happy sappy endings always puts me into this rut of asking "when is my Hallmark Lifetime After school True Hollywood Story Happy sappy ending?!" My fabulous and supportive friends will say things like "you are worth waiting for and so is Mr. Right." And that helps heals the wounds. But like an addict, I crave this weekly cycle of self loathing and have been finding it difficult to spiral upward out of m

I have been trying all kinds of assisted aides to help me lose this weight! I tried shaking some mysterious chemical that was supposed to suppress my appetite. Didn't work. I was working out hours at a clip and still manage to squeeze out some pretty good distances and times on my elliptical. But my weight was frozen in time. Suspended and unmoving. I was getting pissed off. Maybe I have what Oprah had with her thyroid? So I asked my doctors to run a battery if tests. Nothing. I realized I was spending on average $14/day on buying breakfast and lunch from the cafeteria. So I went back to EDiets food delivery and kept tracking my weight and food on Weight Watchers Online. I made WW Lifetime status over a lifetime ago and these (now) 13 pounds creeped back onto my hips through my lips. For the amount of money I was spending in the cafe, I have made the investment in having fresh meals sent to my house. It's really perfect timing because I am in a production of Streetcar