Reinventing Joy

2012 had a lot of adventures! My challenging December has thrust me into the new year a few weeks early. I plan to make next year the year of new beginnings- a doorway into a new chapter in my life. My theme for next year: Changing The Scene in 2013! Things I did in 2012 Passed the PHR exam!!! Went to Rock N Roll Fantasy Camp at the Playboy Mansion and met my idol Steven Tyler. Rocked out with legends and was validated as a great vocalist. Made new friends and reconnected with old ones Went to my first 2-Day Jazz Fest in FL Did my first Shakespeare play "Much Ado About Nothing" with a new theatre company Went Skydiving Flew to LA and auditioned for the Voice in person Went to my 1st Springsteen Concert in Chicago Took a chance with my heart, briefly explored cohabitation and ultimately stood up for my happiness and didn't try to change someone I really cared about. Moved to a new townhouse Interviewed for a job I didn't think I had the chops f...

I'll make this brief. I didn't get a really awesome promotion the same week I realized that my relationship with GI Joe had run its course and ended it. To cap off this magnificent week, I had two weeks to find a place to live, pack and move out. I'm not there yet to see the sunshine. Being cursed with a nickname like Joy, I just can't have more than one bad day at least in the eyes of my Manager at work. I am running on emotional fumes. I am hollow. I am tapped out and I've given all that I have to give. Being around large groups isn't fun and this is a huge sign to me that I'm not there. I'm trying not to eat my feelings because I've lost 12 lbs so far and am on my way to losing my final 10 lbs. I just don't want to get out of bed bit I have to in order to pack and give extra stuff to Goodwill. I still have a few items to donate to the kidney foundation pick up. I know logically that it will get better but I wish people would allow m...

I think it's time for me make time to take time. My boyfriend has hinted that we don't need to run around every waking hour of the weekend. I also want to make the most of my time with him because life is too short and I am up for two different job pursuing different passions of mine. One job is training in Irvine, CA and the other was a last minute invite to fill a PR mentor of mind's position in NJ. Both jobs would mean moving away from my haven in SC, new life, friends and my boyfriend. Then to add to the stress, my landlord just reduced the rate of the home I'm living in and the interest is picking up. I may have to move out without our previously agreed 2 months notice. My tenants are acting shady and were seen removing lots of bags from the home into a van but insisted that they were not breaking my 6 month lease extension. They have been paying rent late and oddly inverting the address on the envelope too. Are they trying to skip town too? My solace i...

So I've been on an exercise hiatus and blog vacation. How lazy of me! I really had no earth shattering things to share. I returned back to NJ for the first time in 2 years. It's like visiting a planet. Things look different and odd but familiar. As soon as I landed the homecoming tour began. I was whisked away to the shore to sing with my voice teacher at a gig. It was exhilarating! It was my first time singing out in NJ. I have done it tons of times in SC but in my hometown it was something else especially with my voice teacher. Then I saw more friends and then went to church to learn the whole Catholic mass had a remix and wonder why the drastic changes? More singing at a rehab center for the elderly who were so sweet and sang along with me. I was so moved I almost cried. It was a very proud moment. I'm grateful to be able to share a gift I enjoy so much with others. I have been craving to play the guitar all week. It's funny when I'm at home I have to make my...

I haven't blogged in a million years. Ok it's been a month or so but I haven't been up for blogging. I have been running around quite a bit chasing my dream of being a rock star. I audition for The Voice this Saturday in L.A.  I just heard this amazing song that I shazamed in the car and then flew home and learned how to play it on the guitar. I love it so much I think I want to sing it this weekend at auditions. Gavin Degraw's Sweeter. It has enough soul and rock/pop sound that spoke to my soul. It's rare that a new song hits me like that because I have the musical tastes of a 50 year old white man. But this really sang to me. Forgive the pun. So I sang the first two verses and chorus through until I felt really good and I really think I am going to add this to my audition selection. That and either Proud Mary(safety song) and Etheridge's I'm the only one. I still can't believe how much I have followed my dreams to sing this year! I have really found...

So it's been over a month since I officially blogged. I was and still am in Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp heaven! I have thrown myself into guitar lessons and I just purchased tickets to LA for my The Voice audition! I am going to try it live versus video so they can hear my raw rock talent. Lol! That sounds so cheesy but that is me. As for the man situation, I am in an official relationship. This is a true feat since it's been about 4 years since my last real relationship. I am learning a lot about this man and have been speaking up about my feelings and expectations. He's even been really good to support me in my healthy sound finding. I fell off my clean eating wagon tonight after a rousing game of Scrabble and wonderful guest over for a healthy grilled chicken and veggie dinner. I had a heaping bowl of my fave ice cream - mint chocolate chip. I was so good for three whole days and was working out and everything. I'm on a groupon diet plan with these vitamin b sh...

Someone sent this to me at work. I don't know who wrote it. It was appropriate to reference when my manager "dumped" on me this afternoon. This time it was pretty bad. It's been pretty bad and I was prepared to say something about how her communication style needed improvement.  She later cooled off and apologized. She admitted her "dumping" and I thanked her for her self awareness. Anyway-here it is. Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.  We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!  The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.  My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.  And I mean, he was really friendly! So I asked, 'Why did you just do that?  This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"...

Again?! The insomnia is back! I was so happy to go to bed early. Drifted off ever so nicely. I classically celebrated my 2.6 pound weight loss this week with three slices of thin crust pizza from the night before. Haha! I woke up at 12:30 with heartburn and shadows of my nightmare dancing in my head. I dreamt that I completely flake out at Rock Camp and People booed me off the stage. I was also wearing a Mrs.Roper muumuu because I was ten thousand pounds and looked more like Momma Cass than Momma Sass. It was awful. I also think I have been a bit anxious about all of the music to memorize and if I'll be prepared. I have to remember that I may only be able to sing a part of a song in then long run. I think I also feel guilty about not working out on Friday. I did so well all week and just needed a day off. When I weighed in yesterday morning i was 40% body fat. I am almost half fat! To top it off I was supposed to have a date with GI Joe last night but he's been ill- poo...

Hello to another wake up at 4am. This ticks me off to no end! I really need to go back to taking my amino acid that helps me chill down and sleep at night. GI Joe and I went to a movie and talked for seven hours so Things are moving a nice pace. I enjoy his company- you think?! He knows I am looking to take things slow and start at the friends first platform and see where things go. It feels like the ball is in my court but I don't want to be the one calling the shots all of the time however I have been such a scared squirrel about this situation I am surprised he even gives me the time of day. Next date- he suggested cooking me dinner at my place and Sci Fi. I am thinking of asking him to see a play with me. I'm not ready for the house date yet even though he's been there without me there(see past blog). I really want to take things slowly. I'm not even sure what this is yet and don't want to lead anyone (including myself) on. My weight spiked up because I fel...

I Lost 2.6 pounds this week! I am getting more disciplined in logging my weight watchers info and joined two challenges on WW online so I have to be accountable to someone. I log my food intake daily, even the bad stuff and copious glasses of wine. I also have been working out at least 30 mins a day. It's interesting that I can be accountable to others and not solely myself. I think its the team type goal setting really gets me going.But I am driving myself nuts with all this downtime! My own March Madness! Relaxing is making me nuts!I came home from breakfast with my friend and did a small retail therapy visit to one of my fave slightly imperfect brand names for less spot called Oops. Got a darling dress. Came home, got into my workout gear, got into bed for a nap and will wake up and work out for a bit, made plans to Skype my girlfriend from Australia and then dinner in with my neighbor friend. I have to stop myself from planning my day and letting it ride.Tomorrow, I'll hav...

I found my Sound with Shakespeare. I didn't think it was possible in such short notice to do it but I mastered the chunk of monologue that I shared with my fellow characters for three days straight without calling for my lines. Some reviews- "You have a great command of the verse."-My Director, "You really have a natural talent for the language." -audience member. Last night was my best performance.  And I was really happy that my friends were witness to it that night. I came in with a "Walking on Sunshine" attitude and got the cast to celebrate our hard work with singing songs and celebrating the end of a really brief run. It picked up that looming mood that we all try to avoid - Performance Detox.  This particular production was a true feat in perseverance, acceptance and expectations that pushed all of us beyond what we ever were expected to do for previous plays. It was an experience I will never forget. When we got our final notes before we of...

So...I started the New Year and have continued to be sick. Not take to the bed sick but a wretched cough and cold like symptoms. I have managed one huge accomplishment and goal in finding my sound - I passed the PHR exam!!!!! This is a huge accomplishment and I have sadly not had a sufficient time to celebrate it. Amidst being coughy and tired, I have been in rehearsals for Much Ado. I am aptly singing Shakespeare rather than speaking it. Last Saturday evening during our marathon rehearsals, I was cast as Pastor Francis. There is a monologue that rivals any monolouge I have ever said anywhere. And I have less than a week to learn these lines and be on for opening night! Finding my sound using Shakespeare's words is going to be the challenge of a lifetime. Its a great opportunity to show my stuff, venture into The Bard's work, "audition" for the other actors who are directors in the play. But I am stunned into silence and low self esteem. My dear friend has suggested ...