Reinventing Joy

This sums up today quite well. My wise friend Sonja (as always) was right. I wasn't satisfied with my job(s) anymore and my health was failing so badly that my doctors told me to to leave. I finally made the decision and today is my first day of freedom.  To explore what I love to do or what I've always wanted to do.  For this week, I'm going to grease my ass and slide along! I'm going to relax- whatever that is and open my heart and mind to what my soul has been aching to do for 18 years.  Here's to finding my new sound!

I am trying so hard not to cry on this plane! This Italian man who apparently either loves Harley Davidson or works for them is quietly snoozing next to me. I keep sniffing and only one eye is weeping. Don't you hate that?! Or am I the only freak that cries out of one eye? I hate crying!  I especially hate crying in public.  I just watched the film version of Into The Woods on the in flight service. I was in this show in undergraduate school. It was my 1st show actually.  It's near and dear to my heart! I was called back for Little Red twice.  Once I got called back at undergrad but got passed up for an upperclassman and the second time I was passed up for a kid after grad school (I was also called back for The Witch- another coveted role filled by a great actress who also didn't happen to have a sinus infection at call backs and was more awesome than me).  As I watched the film with ad...

I hate to be cryptic but I've made some pretty deep decisions these past few weeks. My new year will be a year of risk, planning and a lot of deep breaths. I need to make some major changes in my life so that I can actually enjoy what  time is left ahead of me. I have some great support and have been putting a lot of plans in action each day. In other news- my health voice is trying to be strong but I feel like I'm spitting in the wind! I'm secretly cursing Jillian Michaels because I plan to do her Yoga Meltdown (the title is very accurate) 3 times a week.  Yesterday was Day 1 and I can't walk down the stairs or lift my arms. The other days I'm walking 4 miles.  For the past free weeks, I've been sick with Bronchitis doing a play which has now closed.  I have a clean slate and I'm going to get back on the fitness path. And hello Weight Watchers!  It's like reconnecting with an old friend.  An old friend that has a padlock on your fridge and...

"So how are things with you and your boyfriend?"   We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary last Monday!  Huzzah!  It's a world record in my relationship track record.   How are we doing?  Well.  We're doing well.  What a blah answer, right?! Last Friday, he advised that his 3 month contract has been increased to 5 months.  YAY!  He's got a steady income coming in for 5 months!  YAY!  IN PHILLY!  (Crickets) He leaves right after Christmas so we have 2 more weekends left together.  (More Crickets) He can’t wait to get out of Myrtle Beach.  It makes me sad because he won’t be as close and it’s going to be expensive and challenging trying to manage a for real long distance relationship for that long.   I’m going to try my best to budget my travel up there.  The other challenge is that he would prefer to move back to Philly permanently.  Remember my posts about moving to Myrtle Beach? ...

The procedure went well. At least I hope it did. I wasn't able to speak to my doctor afterwards. I was super scared. I tried to lighten the mood in my room by watching "Saved By The Bell" and taking goofy pictures.  They let me keep these horrible socks and a pillow. That equates to $2200, right?!  My follow up appointment is on 9/15.  Some of my girlfriends came by to check in on me for the first 2 days.  It was nice to have the company, lunch, some sweets and watching "Frozen" for the first time.  I've been so tired and sleepy- so I've been napping. Yesterday, I was cleared to drive. I went to rehearsal last night  since we open next Friday.  Aside from the length of the rehearsal, I was starting to feel fatigued on my way back home. I woke up at 3:33am in pain. I felt like I was jumped and someone had kicked me strategically in my lower abs. I took some ibuprofen and turned on "Happily Divorced" (my back up to my guilty pleasure "The Na...

The day before my same day procedure and I get a call from the hospital. I owe them $2200!  What the What?! I asked the lady "Is this after insurance?!" She advised that the surgery originally was $20K. (Are you serious?! For a same day procedure!) After insurance and because I didn't meet my deductible, I owe $2200! She kindly offered a down payment arrangement of $880.  I asked her about the $580 I paid last week. She said that was for my doctor's fees. Unbelievable!  I shutter to think about people who don't have insurance. I don't want to make this a political thing at all. I'm just downright cheap. But the cost of taking this golf ball sized fibroid out if me is worth it.  I've chewed through too many belts and endured too much pain for the past year. My girlfriends have shared their experiences with this surgery and said it's not going to be a big deal. Their theshold for pain is much higher than mine. I cry when I get a paper cut. And this i...