Reinventing Joy

For years I would struggle and go to work sick and contagious because I needed to get the work done.  My team needed me.  The business needed me.  They can't function without me.  What I didn't realize is that when I'm not at my best, I can't be my best. Yeah, I got the work done or the webinar completed or the folks trained but they didn't get 100% Joyel, they got 50-65% at best.  That's no bueno.  Showing up while sick doesn't make you a hero.  It fosters a lack of self care which (as I slowly learned) can lead to other deeper issues along the way.  I developed larger health issues along the years that accumulated into some pretty scary stuff.  It was my body's way of signaling me to slow the hell down!  But I didn't listen until I was 4 meds in, 2 fibroid removal surgeries down and had a stress related cough that gave me a hernia to realize that working while ill is not the answer to a more productive life. I'm writing this note t...

This whole week so far has been about Embracing Change.   Monday kicked off with my EAP Embracing Change class in Wilmington, DE where over 50 employees at a bank listened to their peers and I discuss ways to go with the flow and embrace the changes that happen to us in life.  As I shared with the class, it's not the change that does us in- it's the transition and life and our businesses won't wait too long for us to get it together.   We also discussed honoring the process and being proactive.  One wise participant discussed not giving up on the change just because we don't see immediate results.  We need to keep trying if we believe in that change and measure and celebrate the small successes on the way.  We also took away that it's ok to question the change but we need to remember to be mindful of how we're asking about the change and reframing the question to show that our intention is not to tear it down but to better understand the change. ...

I did it!  I got my name up in lights on a marquee after 1 year of working very hard to be heard in the Philly music scene!   Last year at the Dewey Beach Music Conference, I set the intention to the owner that I would see her next year and that I'd be performing.   I remember her saying to me "OK."(and the tone was "Who is this chick?!")  But one year later, I saw folks noticing my name on the sign while I was waiting to perform my original songs to a packed house at Jimmy's Grille in Dewey Beach, DE. I know it wasn't SXSW or the Grammy's yet but I had arrived in my own personal achievement.  This was a challenge that I took on and did it out of pocket and sheer grit and determination.   Manifestation works when you put yourself to work.   I didn't just wish on a star and hope to get selected.   I took to getting out to the local music venues, networked my tail off, played out and practiced all year long.  2 weeks before I was ...

I have been pushing myself into new experiences, or challenges that scare me to get past my fears.  I love to perform. But performing on an instrument that I'm not very good at alone has been struggle for me. I realize that I can only get better with practice.  This 7 week Mindfulness and Stress Reduction class that I completed really works! My health has never been better and my blood pressure is the best it's ever been.  I had to talk myself off the fence of fear 10 times yesterday to get the courage up to go and play at an open mic night at this really awesome music venue (World Cafe Live).  I was invited by the host (a huge step) and then it was the venue- A place where some of my most favorite artists performed.  And then it was playing my original music, without the safety net of my fiancé backing me up. My stomach was churning, I started to get a migraine, my muscles were spasming.  All the signs of anxiety that I used ...

I think I may be dreaming but I believe the sun has finally decided to show it's beautiful sunny face today!   I don't know about you, but not seeing the sun in almost 2 weeks had a profound effect on my mood.   There were a lot of things to celebrate- like me getting hired to be an expert career coach with The Muse, or my awesome radio interview with NGFY Radio or my kicking some serious butt during the Workweek Fitbit challenges with my friends.   All were hollow victories.  The sun was gone.  I was feeling funky and low.  I was trying to pin point why I was feeling this way but rather than fight it.  I just felt into it.   Everything isn't sunshine and peppermints when you're following your dreams.  I needed to take a break and just be.  These weeks of no sunshine- made me very introspective and cavey. (Cavey- It's my word for feeling like a hermit and not wanting to go out and commune with the ...

Fear...it can be such an debilitating emotion!   I was walking through the park yesterday and turned around to see three teenagers screaming and huddled together.  I thought they were just being kids and being loud.  The screening continued and when I changed positions, I discovered a yellow lab on a leash with his owner sitting and smiling at them.   The dog was not in moving in any aggressive manner.  In fact it was just calmly sitting there amidst the yelps and hollers from the teens.  I recalled being that terrified of dogs when I was younger too.  But it was most often when the dog approached me in an aggressive manner.  My fight or flight would kick in but I would still continue to walk as briskly as I could away from any danger. In this situation, the dog was sitting and actually trying to say hello.  The more the teens screeched the more the dog tried to approach them to sniff them. ...

There's no excuse!  Just none! I was burned out! And I haven't been over here in a minute! So much has happened.  I wrote a new song, I went to AZ for my birthday, I had a house concert and booked another one that will be happening this Friday, I performed at The Fire again, I got a corporate HR Consulting client for a month- (only 1 month due to lack of funds and not for lack of talent), I got a few new one on one clients, I went to see Chaka Khan, Tedeschi Trucks Band and Earth Wind and Fire and Chicago, I played at an open Mic, I participated in a Philadelphia Music Scene Portrait project, I have an opportunity to be a freelance coach with a really reputable website for career development, I've helped friends get through some really tough stuff, I've taken on new coaching challenges, I started Whole 30, I miss wine, bread, cheese and wine really badly, I got my tax return money and oh yeah, I GOT ENGAGED! So much has happened and I neglected to tell you.  Why a...

It's February and the first month of the New Year was a doozy. Emotional roller coaster would be a good description.  I returned from a wonderful complimentary trip to Melbourne, Australia for New Years and kicked off the year practicing my tail off for the numerous gigs I had booked.  I had a Dinner Detective gig that was a last minute add, a house concert and an invite to play at The Fire again on 2/2!  I had an audition to play a chemo patient for a hospital. In addition to that I managed to get an invite to audition for Book of Mormon again and a talent agency responded to my email with an invite to see me!!! It was a magical month! Busy bee!  Now, I don't know if I'll ever get into Book of Mormon because I'm 40 and fluffier than most of the younger auditioners. But I know I slayed the audition because she and the accompanist seemed to loved all of my work. But hey, it was a 2nd chance to be seen.  As for the chemo patient audition, I wasn't sure I got that ...