Did you ever catch a case of the Singles?
I don't know why I do it! I do it every weekend and sometimes on the weekdays.
I manage to Wallow in Self Loathing and punishment by watching sappy romantic Hallmark or Lifetime movie Originals about the sassy single lady who is buzzing through life and is trying to have it all and is plauged with being single. I enter into a surreal and often spot on portrayal of some of my own romantic failings only to see the TV "me" win the dashing handsome dude in the end. Her successful capture is sealed with a long embrace or kiss.
Watching these televised happy sappy endings always puts me into this rut of asking "when is my Hallmark Lifetime After school True Hollywood Story Happy sappy ending?!" My fabulous and supportive friends will say things like "you are worth waiting for and so is Mr. Right." And that helps heals the wounds. But like an addict, I crave this weekly cycle of self loathing and have been finding it difficult to spiral upward out of my case of the Singles. I have been better about avoiding WE network's Wedding Sunday special programming. A whole day of wedding shows?! Talk about painful!
Doing things that I love like singing, acting, writing, catching up with friends, eating, drinking and working out usually help me snap out of it but today, I am struggling a little!
I have budgeted my points for WW and but am so tempted to eat this entire box of donuts that a cast member so nicely brought in to share with the cast. I have reached out to my sage friends. I even reached out to a local NJ musician that I keep in touch with for any songwriting sage advice - He couldn't help me out. He was struggling with the same issue.
I am typing this backstage during a matinee show. Oddly the power went out and my director who's one of the stars of the show advised that if the power goes off again we're calling it a night. "Oh goody!" I think It will give me some time to wallow in my case of the Singles! This play is supposed to give me some distraction and creative outlet to get this yuck out of my system.
I can hear one of my dear friends telling me it's my own damn fault that I am in this abyss because I chose to watch these stupid films and I know what they do to me. I like the happy endings on TV. The film is an escape but also a back slap in the face about the reality of my own life. I really need to "quit" them like one cowboy tried to do for another in Brokeback Mountain.
I think what I will do in addition to my usual remedies, is reach out to some more SC local musicians and tell them I am ready to work on my own vocal solo debut in the local music scene. They offered their support and I am going to throw myself into me again. I sent a Facebook message and have my fingers crossed I can throw myself into creative me.
I haven't heard anything from The Voice audition tape. I wonder if I was the sound they were looking for. I know I can sing and am finally believing I can make a living off my voice. I can control the "when" in this category. I just have to be patient for the romantic "when".
I think I am cursed because I have Joy and Love as roots of my name. Happiness and Love are in my blood. I seek it in everything. I was also was born 3 months early and was in a hurry to be in this world and experience all that is supposed to be out there. When will be my time? Don't be in a hurry to grow up, grow old, fall in love, find your balance, enjoy life -The message from all older folks. I get it. I really do.
So I wait. And wait. Impatiently. I am going to quit watching these stupid films for the next week to see if this diminishes the after effects.
I'll take note of any changes in my Funky Cold Medina feelings right now.
I manage to Wallow in Self Loathing and punishment by watching sappy romantic Hallmark or Lifetime movie Originals about the sassy single lady who is buzzing through life and is trying to have it all and is plauged with being single. I enter into a surreal and often spot on portrayal of some of my own romantic failings only to see the TV "me" win the dashing handsome dude in the end. Her successful capture is sealed with a long embrace or kiss.
Watching these televised happy sappy endings always puts me into this rut of asking "when is my Hallmark Lifetime After school True Hollywood Story Happy sappy ending?!" My fabulous and supportive friends will say things like "you are worth waiting for and so is Mr. Right." And that helps heals the wounds. But like an addict, I crave this weekly cycle of self loathing and have been finding it difficult to spiral upward out of my case of the Singles. I have been better about avoiding WE network's Wedding Sunday special programming. A whole day of wedding shows?! Talk about painful!
Doing things that I love like singing, acting, writing, catching up with friends, eating, drinking and working out usually help me snap out of it but today, I am struggling a little!
I have budgeted my points for WW and but am so tempted to eat this entire box of donuts that a cast member so nicely brought in to share with the cast. I have reached out to my sage friends. I even reached out to a local NJ musician that I keep in touch with for any songwriting sage advice - He couldn't help me out. He was struggling with the same issue.
I am typing this backstage during a matinee show. Oddly the power went out and my director who's one of the stars of the show advised that if the power goes off again we're calling it a night. "Oh goody!" I think It will give me some time to wallow in my case of the Singles! This play is supposed to give me some distraction and creative outlet to get this yuck out of my system.
I can hear one of my dear friends telling me it's my own damn fault that I am in this abyss because I chose to watch these stupid films and I know what they do to me. I like the happy endings on TV. The film is an escape but also a back slap in the face about the reality of my own life. I really need to "quit" them like one cowboy tried to do for another in Brokeback Mountain.
I think what I will do in addition to my usual remedies, is reach out to some more SC local musicians and tell them I am ready to work on my own vocal solo debut in the local music scene. They offered their support and I am going to throw myself into me again. I sent a Facebook message and have my fingers crossed I can throw myself into creative me.
I haven't heard anything from The Voice audition tape. I wonder if I was the sound they were looking for. I know I can sing and am finally believing I can make a living off my voice. I can control the "when" in this category. I just have to be patient for the romantic "when".
I think I am cursed because I have Joy and Love as roots of my name. Happiness and Love are in my blood. I seek it in everything. I was also was born 3 months early and was in a hurry to be in this world and experience all that is supposed to be out there. When will be my time? Don't be in a hurry to grow up, grow old, fall in love, find your balance, enjoy life -The message from all older folks. I get it. I really do.
So I wait. And wait. Impatiently. I am going to quit watching these stupid films for the next week to see if this diminishes the after effects.
I'll take note of any changes in my Funky Cold Medina feelings right now.
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