A long long time ago...I can still remember blogging.

I can't believe that it's taken me this long to blog again.  An acquaintance of mine says that we stop journaling when we don't want to face the truths that reveal themselves.
I think my real reason was because I'm so friggin busy!
I sang with Sammy Friggin Hagar who says I have a great energy and light and told me not to quit singing, Lita Ford says I can sing my heart out, I left a band due to creative differences, I am forming a band because of creative alliances, I'm performing in a bad ass production of Love Loss and What I Wore and have one more weekend to knock their socks off.
Then there's the great guitar draught.  I stopped playing.  I really think it was the result of being asked to sing at a local restaurant on the regular -singing the Blues.  I didn't think I could sing the Blues until everyone in the restaurant stopped to hear me sing.  The owner said that he left the food on the grill and just had to hear me sing again.  WOW that's a lot to take in.  People coming out of the deck area and inside to hear me?!  And you want me to sing here regularly and I have no gig set list prepared and only have played guitar for 1 year?!
WOW! ME?!  Thanks!
"You're not good enough to do that."- said the Doubtful Low Self Esteem Monster(DLSEM).  And it took a hold of me.  Those doubtful thoughts.  I got in my own way again!  And it was bad.  I was getting other things back into the mix...better eating and working out.  Even drinking water..which reminds me I didn't do that today.
Anyway, I was bringing my guitar to bed with me each night (which is where I practice- don't be nasty)
and I wasn't playing it.  It didn't even want to take the time to even tune it.
Last night, I saw a picture of my young Rock Camp buds in Vegas on Facebook and mentioned that I missed singing with them because they were such great musicians.  And one responded that it was an honor to play with me.  Me?!  WOW! ME?!  Thanks!  And that's when I grabbed my tuner and played for about 1.5 hrs.  straight.  It was exhilarating, hysterical and so satisfying to play and remember what I hadn't played in months!  I can play and sing and damn it ...I need to do this!
I have to do this!  I truly believe that singing is what I am here to do.  I may not be an American Idol winner or be discovered ever but I have to try and PRACTICE and not give up.
I have to get out of my own way- as always.  I need to exorcise that DLSEM and keep it moving.
I know..Same thing...different topic.  But hey, it's my blog and I can live the definition of insanity every day if I want to!  :-P

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