Reinventing Joy

Fear...it can be such an debilitating emotion!   I was walking through the park yesterday and turned around to see three teenagers screaming and huddled together.  I thought they were just being kids and being loud.  The screening continued and when I changed positions, I discovered a yellow lab on a leash with his owner sitting and smiling at them.   The dog was not in moving in any aggressive manner.  In fact it was just calmly sitting there amidst the yelps and hollers from the teens.  I recalled being that terrified of dogs when I was younger too.  But it was most often when the dog approached me in an aggressive manner.  My fight or flight would kick in but I would still continue to walk as briskly as I could away from any danger. In this situation, the dog was sitting and actually trying to say hello.  The more the teens screeched the more the dog tried to approach them to sniff them. ...

There's no excuse!  Just none! I was burned out! And I haven't been over here in a minute! So much has happened.  I wrote a new song, I went to AZ for my birthday, I had a house concert and booked another one that will be happening this Friday, I performed at The Fire again, I got a corporate HR Consulting client for a month- (only 1 month due to lack of funds and not for lack of talent), I got a few new one on one clients, I went to see Chaka Khan, Tedeschi Trucks Band and Earth Wind and Fire and Chicago, I played at an open Mic, I participated in a Philadelphia Music Scene Portrait project, I have an opportunity to be a freelance coach with a really reputable website for career development, I've helped friends get through some really tough stuff, I've taken on new coaching challenges, I started Whole 30, I miss wine, bread, cheese and wine really badly, I got my tax return money and oh yeah, I GOT ENGAGED! So much has happened and I neglected to tell you.  Why a...

It's February and the first month of the New Year was a doozy. Emotional roller coaster would be a good description.  I returned from a wonderful complimentary trip to Melbourne, Australia for New Years and kicked off the year practicing my tail off for the numerous gigs I had booked.  I had a Dinner Detective gig that was a last minute add, a house concert and an invite to play at The Fire again on 2/2!  I had an audition to play a chemo patient for a hospital. In addition to that I managed to get an invite to audition for Book of Mormon again and a talent agency responded to my email with an invite to see me!!! It was a magical month! Busy bee!  Now, I don't know if I'll ever get into Book of Mormon because I'm 40 and fluffier than most of the younger auditioners. But I know I slayed the audition because she and the accompanist seemed to loved all of my work. But hey, it was a 2nd chance to be seen.  As for the chemo patient audition, I wasn't sure I got that ...

I have the flu!  In fact, I've had the flu since last week right before Thanksgiving.  I haven't been sick since April.  That's a world record in my book of illness. And I can't really count April as being sick since it was really a chronic cough due to stress, which caused a hernia and resulted an additional antidepressant I needed to take.   So, here it is, I am sick.  Ironically, I stopped my COBRA (because it was super expensive) and applied for medicaid.  I am still waiting for my medicaid card to show up in the mail (which is mysteriously NOT being delivered at the busiest time of the year).  I am using self serve options.  Good old hydration and rest. The hydration part -I've got down pat.  The rest part.  I suck at it.  I totally suck at resting.  I have a feeling that if they could give an award to the least rested person...it would be me! I have this intense drive to DO something at all times.  A ...

Being a selectively free agent in the work world has exposed me to the disgusting underbelly of greed and just plain old weasel-snake behavior! (Yes, that is a term I made up in 90s, ask my best friend Cindy Van Wert!) My dad always told me that if it's too good to be true, it probably is.   I have seen so many get rich quick, no experience necessary, gig booking "help", auditioning tips, how to source clients and work from home gimmicks that my eyes are crossing and my blood pressure is definitely at it's worse. I consider myself a fairly reasonable and smart person.  However, these folks have gotten good to hide their internet trickery.  These guys are posting their bogus opportunities on valid job search engines, websites and using catch phrases that grab your attention.   It will take some time.  And if they ask for money up front, professionals have never heard of them, or if their website looks low budget and jenky- head for the ...

It's really ok to sleep in.  You're not lazy or uninspired.  You worked for almost half your life, take a break and rest.  It's all good. Exercise.  Since you're not working and walking around the office or sitting on your butt working at a desk...you have to move or you will begin to experience some less than pleasant weight gain which may make you more depressed. It may be good to list out all of the things you wanted to do when you were working that you now have the freedom to do versus walking around your apartment in circles asking yourself "Now what do I do?" Netflix is your friend and mortal enemy.  Binge watching can be very cathartic.  Binge watching for more than a few hours a day can be very non productive.  See #2. Ask for help.  There are people out there who have actually experienced being unemployed.  It helps to ask for help so you don't feel so lost.   I have the awesome benefit of having a few mentors and life coa...

This sums up today quite well. My wise friend Sonja (as always) was right. I wasn't satisfied with my job(s) anymore and my health was failing so badly that my doctors told me to to leave. I finally made the decision and today is my first day of freedom.  To explore what I love to do or what I've always wanted to do.  For this week, I'm going to grease my ass and slide along! I'm going to relax- whatever that is and open my heart and mind to what my soul has been aching to do for 18 years.  Here's to finding my new sound!