Phone Blog-Bad Shape

This is going to be a quickie. 
I'm in bad shape. I'm trying to move into a progressive and positive funk but I'm allowing my work sound to make too much noise. 
Last week I rushed to urgent care with severe abdominal pain. They ruled out appendix, gallbladder and found a new to me issue a fibroid which isn't the culprit. They "think" possibly it could be an ulcer. How pray tell did I get an ulcer?
I'm allowing myself to internalize my unhappiness with not following my heart and what I'm truly passionate about and it's literally making me sick. 
I know I need to change. I know I need a new work gig. Now more than ever I need to draw from my daily meditations and take action. My resume has been polished and I'm starting to apply for other positions. I believe that platform training is something I'm really good at and can pay my bills. What I really want to do- sing professionally for a living. Realistically, I need a corporate gig because I've got all these big girl things I have to pay for(car, mortgage for home I no longer live in, etc.)
I'm in a pit and I have been immobilized with the fear taking a leap towards my creative sound. One baby step-
I signed up for a 3 day singer/songwriting retreat in the woods(huge because I hate the outdoors and it's in January in the cold AND I'm finally investing in my creative self and feeding my talents).

Nothing can rescue me except myself. I'm clinging to the faith that I will get through this with hopefully no more damage to my body. I know what I have to do. It's the action that is freaking me out SO MUCH. 


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