Why does the world look like a Romantic Noah's Ark
It seems that everywhere I look, people are paired up as romantic couples moving off into the Love Sunset. I am so tired of people telling me to stop looking when there is no such thing. I mean let's be honest, you promise yourself to not look but you still dress appropriately, put on makeup, and put your best foot forward. You aren't actively looking but what if someone else is and you don't want to be the raggedy chic at the bar. You want to keep your "For Sale" sign on but it's just invisible.
I am trying not to look but can't help but sigh sadly to myself when I see another status change or have to stand up for someone at a wedding.
My wise dentist told me today that things that work don't need work. I am realizing that Harvey requires work. It has been 5 months and on 4th of July weekend I had to have "the get your act together because I am not feeling like you're into this relationship as much as I am" talk. It wasn't fun to have. I have been hopeful to see him "prove himself" to me. Last weekend was a dream come true. Romantic dinner, jazz, PDA and just plain potential romantic Noah's Ark magic. This week- the aftermath, one stilted late night text and no plans to meet this weekend. Not even the same old m.o. I have done this dating game long enough to know that when behaviors change the course of things change with it.
All signs point to move on but I continue to put out hope that he learns to balance work and life. Early last year, I had to lose my health to learn that harsh lesson. I pray his lesson isn't as drastic.
So I am not looking. That is my mantra. But it's so hard to not think about the romantic Noah's ark that seems to pass me by every day. I think it's a sign that I continue to focus on me and throw myself into my vocal passion. But I struggle so hard to do something for me. The lyric book that I finally made sits quietly next to my bed. Calling to me. And I sadly wake up each day surprise that the lyrics are not in my head! Osmosis is for real right?! Why isn't working for me?
I have a few guitarists who have signed on to back me up. I need to get rehearsing. Which requires me to put their feet to the fire. I also need to get my "The Voice" audition tape done. What's getting in the way? Me. Homework tonight: sing through at least 3 songs.
Weight update: lost 3 lbs last week. Gained it back this week. Flat results. Still working out like a champ. I am trying to get to 1 hour a day. I am logging all food but seem to be SO thirsty and exhausted since my Mexican medical scare. I am going to get that checked out on Monday. My mom thinks it's thyroid drama. Fingers crossed it's just work fatigue or a mini broken heart. Oh God! Even that last sentence made me roll my eyes! It's not that REAL but in my heart of hearts I wish every day for God to send the real thing my way before my eggs all die and I end up living alone forever with my 2 plants-George and Weezy.
I am trying not to look but can't help but sigh sadly to myself when I see another status change or have to stand up for someone at a wedding.
My wise dentist told me today that things that work don't need work. I am realizing that Harvey requires work. It has been 5 months and on 4th of July weekend I had to have "the get your act together because I am not feeling like you're into this relationship as much as I am" talk. It wasn't fun to have. I have been hopeful to see him "prove himself" to me. Last weekend was a dream come true. Romantic dinner, jazz, PDA and just plain potential romantic Noah's Ark magic. This week- the aftermath, one stilted late night text and no plans to meet this weekend. Not even the same old m.o. I have done this dating game long enough to know that when behaviors change the course of things change with it.
All signs point to move on but I continue to put out hope that he learns to balance work and life. Early last year, I had to lose my health to learn that harsh lesson. I pray his lesson isn't as drastic.
So I am not looking. That is my mantra. But it's so hard to not think about the romantic Noah's ark that seems to pass me by every day. I think it's a sign that I continue to focus on me and throw myself into my vocal passion. But I struggle so hard to do something for me. The lyric book that I finally made sits quietly next to my bed. Calling to me. And I sadly wake up each day surprise that the lyrics are not in my head! Osmosis is for real right?! Why isn't working for me?
I have a few guitarists who have signed on to back me up. I need to get rehearsing. Which requires me to put their feet to the fire. I also need to get my "The Voice" audition tape done. What's getting in the way? Me. Homework tonight: sing through at least 3 songs.
Weight update: lost 3 lbs last week. Gained it back this week. Flat results. Still working out like a champ. I am trying to get to 1 hour a day. I am logging all food but seem to be SO thirsty and exhausted since my Mexican medical scare. I am going to get that checked out on Monday. My mom thinks it's thyroid drama. Fingers crossed it's just work fatigue or a mini broken heart. Oh God! Even that last sentence made me roll my eyes! It's not that REAL but in my heart of hearts I wish every day for God to send the real thing my way before my eggs all die and I end up living alone forever with my 2 plants-George and Weezy.
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